Wenx’ World: Love me tinder!

25 Jan
Tinder [‘tin-duh; noun] – a Dating app providing geolocation of other users to help you find your match through superficial F*CK YES or NO based on one photo of the potential other.

I know there are quite binary opinions about it out there, but stats are against doubt: 10 000 000 users with average age of 27. Yes, that’s post grad age… that’s you! So I am writing to you, especially you tinder boys, to fill you in on female tindering, of course from a totally subjective point of view. These are my 10 instant Tinder NOPEs:
  1. Photos that do not even show a person – yeh, right?!? If I would like to see quotes, motorbikes, dogs, sunsets or surfing, I’ll open google images, thank you.
  2. Photos that show multiple people: drunk mates, pretty girls, kids – uhm, which one are you?
  3. Photos in which you proudly present you giant catch. – So you can fish. Good on ya!
  4. The guy is in the photo (good!) but wears sunnies, a beanie/hat/cap or anything on his hat – show me who you are!
  5. Photos that are rotated (thanks for the neck stretch, but…) – Hello?!? Photoshop too complex for you? Then you’re never gonna be able to handle a woman!
  6. Photos presenting only body parts. And I am not talking about heads, if you know what I mean! Money is not a big dating factor, but the guy should at least have enough cash to buy a shirt – or undies.
  7. Selfies, bad selfies to be precise: Double chin or having your phone in front of your body/face in the picture is simply not cool!
  8. Unhappy / serious / evil mimics – you really think we would wanna hang out with that face?
  9. Photos that include fluorescent shirts or golden necklaces. – Sorry, that’s just me.
  10. Photos that show the guy with a dog in his face, in front of his face or sleeping on him – Guys, have you ever considered the fact that that doggy nose preferably sniffs other dogs’ behinds? Yuck!

Stats say, girls swipe right 14%. I doubt it.

See you out there – Wenx

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